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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,892

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Making waves on Facebook:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Shared recently on X:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Just shared via Threads:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Making waves on Reddit:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Broadcasted on Threads:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

43 Funny whenever quotes

More funny whenever quotes 👇

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

0

4 months ago

app, back, close, digital, digital life, dire, feel, frustration, humor, i, life, open, procrastination, reopening, technology, whenever
I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

0

5 months ago

computer, experience, forget, forgetfulness, humor, i, incorrect, joke, me, password, rude, rudeness, technology, user, user experience, whenever
Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

0

5 months ago

doubt, easily, exercise, fitness, flexibility, humor, i, me, pose, right, self-doubt, whenever, yoga, yoga pose

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All funny whenever quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on X this month:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

86 shares on Slack this month:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

50 shares on X this month:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

22 shares on Threads this month:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Breaking via WeChat:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Making waves on Twitch:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Live now on YouTube:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Just shared via Messenger:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Live now on Threads:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

43 Funny whenever quotes

More funny whenever quotes 👇

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

All funny whenever quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨