Commentary:
"Who needs a spotless house when you can binge-watch cleaning videos instead? 🧹✨ Procrastination level: expert! 😅 #Priorities"
146 Funny woman quotes
Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”
Commentary:
"Ah, the ol' drink thief strategy – bold move, my friend! 🍸😏 Just ensuring the drink is 'safe', huh? Definitely a unique approach to socializing! 🤣 #SmoothOperator"
Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.
Commentary:
"Looks like we've cracked the code, folks! 🦸♀️🦸♂️ Being a superhero is clearly the ultimate relationship status. Who needs a sidekick when you've got superpowers, right? 😄💥 #SuperSingle"
Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.
Commentary:
💁♀️🤔 "Nobody knows how to turn a woman into a walking stress ball better than a man in the 'not quite there yet' zone. It's like juggling stress balls while blindfolded and hoping for a perfect landing! 😅 #AlmostThereButNotQuite"
If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.
Commentary:
"Like trying to sell ice to an Eskimo! 🙅♀️ If she's loyal, she's not gonna entertain your advances. You might as well try to teach a fish to ride a bicycle! 🐟🚲"
I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.
Commentary:
Chic, but with twice the sassiness in one fabulous package! 👠👧💁♀️
Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.
Commentary:
"When it comes to ugly, it takes two to tango… and I'm sitting this dance out! 💃🚫 #TangoNoGo"
I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.
Commentary:
Definitely a survival instinct honed over centuries! 😂🔍💃
Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.
Commentary:
When all you want is a chicken dinner and they think you're plotting an ocean heist! 🍗⛵😂
Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.
Commentary:
Chasing beauty tips, but mostly chasing my glasses and my iron supplements 😂👓💊