Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Just shared via TikTok:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Making waves on Slack:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Trending via TikTok:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Making waves on Twitch:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Going viral on Telegram:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Spotted on Discord:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Falling for someone as an adult really is just nature's way of reminding us we never outgrew the awkward teenage phase 🤦‍♀️❤️

adult, awkwardness, crush, dating, feels, having, humiliation, love, ritual, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

God saw you do that.

0

2 months ago

God, guilt, humor, mischief, observation, saw
Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

0

2 months ago

appetite, feel, food, great, humor, hungry, irony, meal, soup, still, want
Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

0

1 month ago

being, day, humor, Monday, record, week, worst, worst day
I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

0

2 weeks ago

activity, communication, conversation, enjoy, enjoyment, getting, having, humor, i, listening, passive, passive activity, podcast
4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

0

2 months ago

4, chasing, clout, exaggeration, humor, joke, media, row, sneeze, social, social media, wrap
Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

0

2 months ago

before, drawer, empty, food, fridge, humor, kitchen, life, maintenance, own, procrastination, something, vegetable

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

94 shares on Instagram this month:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

20 shares on X this month:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Spotted on X:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Trending via Discord:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Trending via Facebook:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Just shared via Facebook:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Going viral on X:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Going viral on Threads:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

God saw you do that.

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨