Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Trending via Telegram:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Trending via TikTok:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'd rather be roasted than buttered up! 🔥😂

compliment, honesty, humor, i, insult, sarcasm, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

0

2 months ago

A.I., AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, artificial stupidity, being, humor, intelligence, me, office, people, replacement, safe, safety, smart, smart people, stupidity, technology, workplace
My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

0

2 months ago

battery, humor, i, joke, pun, time, watch
The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

0

5 months ago

barrier, Finland, humor, job, language, language barrier, me, moving, only, relocation, thing
I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

0

2 months ago

choice, event, fall, food, humor, i, invitation, just, move, neighborhood, planning, potluck, social, social event
Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

0

2 months ago

active, active search, before, crazy, crazy person, humor, impact, life, media, modern, modern life, observation, people, person, search, social, social media, technology, technology impact
Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

change, hair, humor, i, joke, relationship, sex, today, tomorrow, yesterday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

15 shares on X this month:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Spotted on Slack:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Trending via Reddit:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Spotted on TikTok:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Life is weird and then you die.

Spotted on WeChat:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨