Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Going bananas on Threads:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Going viral on Telegram:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Spotted on Facebook:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Camping: where there's no Wi-Fi, but intense bonding with mosquitos 🏕️🐜🥴

ask, camping, humor, love, me, please, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

3 months ago

every, existential, goals, humor, i, identity, just, life, life goals, middle-aged, nostalgia, person, remember, want, wanted
Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

2 months ago

awkward, communication, humor, interaction, joke, misunderstanding, nothing, offline, offline people, online, online joke, people, social, social interaction, tell, trying
Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

2 months ago

again, expectation, humor, i, irony, just, Monday, procrastination, routine, week
I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

2 months ago

back, boundary, communication, conversation, end, enjoy, enjoyment, i, interaction, kind, life, living, modern, modern life, silence, simply, social, social interaction, texting, where, world
Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

1 month ago

buy, buyer, chair, chairs, coming, concern, Facebook, Facebook Marketplace, humor, i, marketplace, me, murder, online, online shopping, over, safety, safety concern, sale, shopping, someone
Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

3 months ago

communication, context, conversation, funnier, humor, know, message, messages, person, personality

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

95 shares on Threads this month:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

35 shares on Threads this month:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Spotted on Facebook:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Shared recently on Threads:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Just shared via X:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Going viral on Threads:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Spotted on Twitch:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Spotted on WeChat:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨