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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Just landed via YouTube:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Making waves on Threads:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I’m over here napping while you’re holding a grudge 💤😴😂

attention, attitude, even, hatred, humor, imagine, indifference, me, paying, sarcasm, self-confidence

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

2 months ago

fashion, humor, leggings, load-bearing, mishap, mistake, realize, tag
Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

2 months ago

exhausting, expectations, humor, living, motivation, potential, reality, self-improvement, sounds
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

2 months ago

behavior, hoop, hula, hula hoop, humor, invisible, joke, people, playful, prank, reaction, silly, using, weird, weird behavior
My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

2 months ago

contradiction, expectations, household, humor, mom, parenting, rules, towel
I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

2 months ago

again, bag, blood, blood pressure, fit, free, handy, humor, i, irony, kit, never, once, pressure, relatable, stuff, take
Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

2 months ago

adulthood, awareness, bill, everyone, fight, financial, financial awareness, gas, gas bill, heat, heating, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, love, man, manhood, outside, remind, responsibility, time, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

20 shares on Discord this month:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Trending via Reddit:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Just landed via Discord:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Breaking via Slack:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Just landed via WeChat:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨