Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Going viral on TikTok:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Trending via Snapchat:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Freshly posted on Slack:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Just landed via X:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a time machine when 'Jump to recipe' can transport you straight to deliciousness in a snap? 🚀🍽️ #TeleportationGoals"

comedy, convenience, cooking, food, humor, jump, recipe, technology, teleportation, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

2 months ago

6, absurdity, butter, cooking, food, humor, level, level 6, mood, someone, toaster, tonight
My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

2 months ago

air, air conditioning, chore, conditioning, doing, fight, household, household chore, humor, husband, i, relationship, storm, storm off, work, yard, yard work
My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

2 months ago

account, actually, fake, humor, identity, joke, officer, probation, probation officer, relationship, surprise
Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

2 months ago

born, chance, forced, humor, i, irony, mysterious, personality, quiet, self-deprecating, talkative, whenever
At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

5 months ago

act, age, aging, attitude, fun, good, humor, i, personality, reason
Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

2 months ago

being, business, communication, great, held, hostage, humor, meetings, office, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

72 shares on Threads this month:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

30 shares on Discord this month:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

37 shares on X this month:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

37 shares on X this month:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

93 shares on YouTube this month:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Going viral on TikTok:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Going viral on Telegram:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨