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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Overthinkaholic!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,881

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Live now on Threads:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Going viral on TikTok:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm in! Let's call it the "Unbook Club" where throwing shade is mandatory. 📚🙅🎉

book, book club, club, dislike, frustration, group, humor, just, need, opinion, people, read, reading, same, vent

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

1 month ago
court, honor, humor, joke, lawyer, music, plea, pun, Wonderwall
“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

1 month ago
again, comedy, fall, falling, humor, i, irony, procrastination, repetition, sarcasm, say, self-awareness, whatever
Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

2 months ago
communication, digital, digital life, distraction, humor, internet, life, mass, media, social, social media, technology, Twitter, weapon
I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

2 months ago
deep, discomfort, fine, humor, i, inside, irony, shoe, sock, struggle, walk, walking
I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

1 month ago
humor, i, irritate, irritation, issues, me, motivational, self-awareness
I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

1 month ago
awkwardness, communication, dating, flirt, hope, humor, i, just, romance, say, thing, things, weird, weird thing

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Spotted on Telegram:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Trending via Slack:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Just shared via Discord:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

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Activity Log ✨

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

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Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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