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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,529

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Live now on Discord:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Trending via Telegram:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Trending via X:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Just shared via Threads:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Making waves on TikTok:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

2 months ago

0

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

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Commentary:
"Get ready for some full-size servings of terrible wisdom this Halloween! 🎃🍫 Remember, sometimes bad advice can be the best treat of all! Just like those full-size candy bars, grab them quick while supplies last… or maybe not 😏🤪 #HalloweenHumor"

advice, bad, bad advice, bar, candy, full, full size bar, Halloween, humor, joke, last, size, supply, treat, trick, trick or treat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, away, coping, drinking, escape, fun, humor, moving, problems, relaxation, run, want
The worst person you know is studying psychology.

0

2 months ago

humor, know, person, psychology, studying, worst, Worst Person
At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, bingo, fun, fun activity, game, meet, meet up, people, play, ready
This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

0

2 months ago

blend, fun, having, life, losing, me, mind, perfect, time, year
I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

0

2 months ago

adventure, belief, believe, Bigfoot, excited, excitement, humor, i, skepticism, too
If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

0

5 months ago

evil, humor, joke, math, number, pun, root

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Slack this month:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

My dream car is a taco truck.

89 shares on X this month:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,609

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Going viral on Slack:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Live now on Slack:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Freshly posted on Threads:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Making waves on Threads:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

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