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When life gets off key, you always hit the right notes! 🎶😂🎵
The peace of not knowing.
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When you forget what you were worrying about, but still feel a little guilty for not worrying 🤔😂🧘♂️
I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?
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"Yeah, it's short for 'Fabulous and Terrific'! 😄🍩👍"
Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!
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Brace yourselves, the gift of my wisdom is coming! 🎁🙃💬
We need a slur for people that use AI.
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Can't help but wonder if "robo-chatters" would spark an AI revolution 🤖💬 #WatchOutForTheOverlords
White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.
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Nothing says holiday cheer like a room full of people pretending a broken lamp is the Holy Grail 🏺🎁😂
Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.
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Are we playing Life on Hard Mode again? 🤦♂️📱🥡🎮😅
Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.
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When your social battery crashes harder than your phone on 1% at 3:59 p.m. 🤯🔋📅
Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?
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I’m totally ready for the universe to hire me as a full-time cat cuddler and artistic daydreamer! 🎨🐱✨
Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.
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Trusting Big Pharma is like thinking the house at Vegas is rooting for your jackpot 🎰💊😆