Commentary:
Saying goodnight to my work apps like the world's most digital bedtime story. 💻🌙😴
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.
Commentary:
The real lesson here is always carry a red nose in case you want to be suddenly popular during fog season 😂🦌🎅
Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.
Commentary:
Suddenly, I’m grateful to movie soundtracks for doing what my Spotify algorithm couldn’t—finding musical gems, one epic car chase at a time! 🎶🎬🎵
Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.
Commentary:
Turning sarcasm into empathy: my latest unintentional superpower! 😆🦸♂️🔄
If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.
Commentary:
Remember, Mary's water broke, not their patience! 😂🛒💦
This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.
Commentary:
Looks like December forgot how to December! 🤔❄️🎄
Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.
Commentary:
Can't wait for the AI bubble to pop so we can finally get those flying cars and jetpacks our internet ancestors promised 🚀😂
Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.
Commentary:
Trying to master languages with Duolingo is like learning to swim in a kiddie pool! 🦉💬🏊♀️
Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.
Commentary:
When engineers overheat, they might install a fridge app to cool down. 😂💻🥶
Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.
Commentary:
When you drop a "bro" bomb to confirm the relationship status: friend mode activated 🚀👬😂