Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Spotted on Instagram:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Going bananas on Messenger:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Breaking via Reddit:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Just landed via Threads:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
You might say the 'b' in 'subtle' is a *silent partner* 🤫😂

b, humor, letter, letter b, pun, spelling, subtle, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

2 months ago

ache, another, bowl, cream, dessert, eating, eating habits, food, food logic, habits, humor, i, ice, ice cream, indulgence, logic, me, stomach, stomach ache, sure, think
Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

2 months ago

am, beautiful, confidence, day, good, humor, i, morning, positivity, self-love
I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

2 months ago

always, bandana, canine, dog, gang, gone, groomer, home, hours, humor, i, love, loyalty, only, pet, three, time, transformation
So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

2 months ago

absurdity, anything, cat, chores, disposal, else, garbage, humor, laundry, myself, shower, showered
We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

2 months ago

change, comedy, drama, fall, humor, life, seasons, spring, summer, today, used, winter
Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

2 months ago

AC, activity, comfort, cooling, front, heat, heatwave, hours, indoor, minutes, outdoor, outside, summer, summer activity, weather

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Facebook this month:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

13 shares on Discord this month:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

49 shares on Discord this month:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Making waves on Instagram:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Trending via Discord:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Trending via WeChat:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Going viral on Telegram:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Just shared via Facebook:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Spotted on Discord:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨