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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Breaking via Pinterest:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Spotted on Facebook:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Just shared via TikTok:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Making waves on Instagram:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Spotted on Slack:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful text highlighting the humorous claim about the letter 'b' in 'subtle'.

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Commentary:
You might say the 'b' in 'subtle' is a *silent partner* 🤫😂

b, humor, letter, letter b, pun, spelling, subtle, wordplay

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41 shares on Telegram this month:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

44 shares on Messenger this month:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Making waves on Instagram:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Going viral on Telegram:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Just landed via Twitch:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Making waves on TikTok:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Trending via Discord:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Making waves on Telegram:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Making waves on Slack:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Just landed via Messenger:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨