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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Making waves on Slack:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Spotted on Slack:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Spotted on Facebook:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Going viral on Twitch:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Going viral on Slack:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Zero likes? That's just me having a private conversation with my biggest fan! 🤣🗣️ #SelfieSupport"

confidence, humor, i, independence, likes, me, media, motivation, myself, online, online posting, persistence, posting, self-expression, social, social media, stop, talk, zero

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

2 months ago
adulting, always, anticipation, big, cheat, cheat code, code, forward, matter, motivation, outlook, positivity, small, something
Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

1 month ago
after, crazy, disaster, even, history, humor, irony, pool, ship, still, think, Titanic, water, year’s
Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

1 month ago
breakup, broke, congratulations, emotional, emotional support, enough, humor, know, me, needs, people, relationship, support, therapy
Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

3 months ago
daily, daily routine, day, distraction, humor, media, monitor, need, reminder, routine, scrolling, situation, social, social media
Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

1 month ago
annoying, appear, child, children, friend, friendship, humor, i, parenting, regret
I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

1 month ago
advice, complete, free, free advice, growth, here, humor, i, inspirational, inspirational quote, irony, just, life, life advice, people, personal, personal growth, self-help, train, train wreck, wreck

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Just shared via X:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Trending via Snapchat:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Making waves on Threads:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Just shared via TikTok:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Going viral on Facebook:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Friends with consequences.

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

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The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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