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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Going bananas on Discord:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Shared recently on Slack:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Making waves on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Just landed via Discord:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Just landed via Reddit:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Zero likes? That's just me having a private conversation with my biggest fan! 🤣🗣️ #SelfieSupport"

confidence, humor, i, independence, likes, me, media, motivation, myself, online, online posting, persistence, posting, self-expression, social, social media, stop, talk, zero

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

0

2 months ago

20s, actually, breaking, curse, empowerment, generational, generational curse, hate, independence, man, marry, me, self-love, survive
Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, cardio, course, exercise, fitness, humor, i, problems, running
My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

0

2 months ago

chaos, disarray, drawer, humor, junk, junk drawer, mind, randomness, someone, trampoline
Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

0

2 months ago

breaking, breakup, crazy, dating, digital, fine, humor, logging, logging out, me, Netflix, relationship, streaming, technology
Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

0

2 months ago

arguing, argument, charm, compliment, confidence, cook, cooking, flirtation, fun, handsome, humor, man, masculinity, relationship, say, whatever
The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

0

2 months ago

date, facial, facial recognition, humor, i, irony, me, phone, phones, recognition, relationship, technology, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

83 shares on Threads this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

73 shares on Slack this month:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Going viral on Instagram:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Just landed via Slack:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Going viral on Reddit:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Going viral on Threads:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨