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Commentary:
"Swipe right for that delicious meal! 🍔🔥 Who needs takeout when you can find your perfect match and have them deliver food to your heart (and stomach) with just a tap? Bon appétit and happy swiping! 📱❤️"

app, date, dating, dating app, delivery, food, food delivery, good, humor, online, online dating, relationship, Tinder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

0

2 months ago

bounce, conversation, frustration, i, leg, screaming, start, stop
Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

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2 months ago

birthday, forget, forgetfulness, humor, ignore, laundry, Masters, men, multitasking, once, relationships, sports, stereotypes, watch
Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

0

2 months ago

ancient, ancient Rome, eat, ever, food, humor, meal, paid, payment, properly, roman, Rome, salt, seasoning, understand, why
Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

0

2 months ago

affection, angel, compliment, digital, digital interaction, equivalent, forehead, humor, interaction, kindness, kissing, liking, me, media, post, social, social media
My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

0

2 months ago

everything, floor, gravity, humor, irony, messy, mom, parenting, question
“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, honesty, humor, i, know, liar, lie, maybe, sarcasm, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on WeChat this month:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

69 shares on Discord this month:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

34 shares on X this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

81 shares on Discord this month:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Just shared via TikTok:

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

Making waves on Facebook:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Trending via Telegram:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Breaking via Telegram:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Live now on WhatsApp:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨