Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Spotted on Telegram:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Breaking via Messenger:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Just shared via Discord:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Live now on WeChat:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Breaking via Threads:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Just landed via TikTok:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Making waves on Threads:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Just landed via Pinterest:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

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Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.
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Commentary:
"Swipe right for that delicious meal! 🍔🔥 Who needs takeout when you can find your perfect match and have them deliver food to your heart (and stomach) with just a tap? Bon appétit and happy swiping! 📱❤️"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

38 shares on Reddit this month:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

76 shares on X this month:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

36 shares on Threads this month:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Just landed via Threads:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Freshly posted on X:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Trending via TikTok:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Going viral on Reddit:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

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