Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Shared recently on X:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Going viral on TikTok:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Going viral on X:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Going bananas on Reddit:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Making waves on YouTube:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about self-awareness and humor, playful and sarcastic tone.

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Commentary:
Looks like I'm gonna need a New Year's resolution… for everyone else! 😂🎉

again, apology, better, everyone, humor, i, improvement, next, offended, offense, sarcasm, year

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Threads this month:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

14 shares on Slack this month:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

11 shares on Slack this month:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

91 shares on Discord this month:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Shared recently on Reddit:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Shared recently on Discord:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

Going viral on Discord:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Keep the laugh going 😂

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨