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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Making waves on Discord:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Seen just now on Reddit:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Seen just now on X:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Live now on Threads:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Making waves on Slack:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Going viral on WeChat:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you realize the ice cream loves you more than your date 🍦❤️😂"

humor, love, me, relationship, romantic, romantic humor, sarcasm, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

0

2 months ago

agree, attention, comment, constant, humor, i, media, need, online, people, retweet, social, social media, stand, validation
Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

0

2 months ago

adulting, chores, done, drink, humor, laundry, multitasking, procrastination, relaxation, wine
The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, comfort, cool, humor, jealousy, just, pillow, relationship, side, sleep, stole
The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

0

2 months ago

attention, authority, example, humor, irony, leadership, motivation, problem
The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

0

2 months ago

animals, great, having, house, humor, joke, just, mouse, single, sure, suspicion, thing
Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

0

2 months ago

clutter, health, humor, humor therapy, joke, mental, mental clutter, mental health, need, relaxation, relief, satire, stress, stress relief, therapy, thoughts, unwanted, vacuum

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Reddit this month:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Live now on Pinterest:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Just landed via X:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Seen just now on Discord:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨