Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Making waves on Instagram:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Live now on Instagram:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Just shared via Telegram:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Trending via Discord:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Freshly posted on X:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Making waves on X:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Going viral on WeChat:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Going viral on X:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you realize the ice cream loves you more than your date 🍦❤️😂"

humor, love, me, relationship, romantic, romantic humor, sarcasm, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

0

2 months ago

activity, creative, creative solution, daily, daily mess, decor, fun, fun activity, holiday, holiday decor, humor, ignoring, ignoring mess, mess, new, procrastination, solution, thinking
I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

0

3 days ago

casualwear, couch, dilemma, eve, fashion, fashion dilemma, figure, going, holiday, humor, i, need, new, New Year’s Eve, outfit, procrastination, relaxation, wear, year’s
I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

0

2 months ago

end, get it together, going, humor, i, irony, pissed, real, shit, together, world
What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

0

2 months ago

around, conversation, dance, dancing, floor, humor, i, mof, moves, self-deprecation, social, wit
If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

0

2 months ago

answer, dating, humor, millionaire, money, people, relationships, sarcasm, single, someone
iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, crazy, expectation, gadget, humor, iPad, need, PR, reality, technology, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Discord this month:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Spotted on TikTok:

At least life has music.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Making waves on Twitch:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Going viral on WeChat:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Just shared via YouTube:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Just shared via Discord:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨