Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,529

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Trending via Slack:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Spotted on Messenger:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Spotted on Telegram:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Live now on Telegram:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Trending via Threads:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like before marriage, my car and I had a staring contest with traffic lights… and the light always won! 🚦😂

before, driving, green, green light, hours, humor, i, light, marriage, me, patience, relationship, sit, stoplight, tell, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

0

2 months ago

am, contentment, happiness, humor, i, losing, losing touch, positivity, reality, touch
I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

0

2 months ago

back, being, cartoon, cat, cats, doing, humor, i, jerry, job, lazy, mouse, noticed, pets, problem, tom, Tom and Jerry, yelling
Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

0

2 months ago

activity, anxiety, attack, fun, fun activity, humor, Jaws, playing, song, spice, spice up, theme, theme song
My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, child, favorite, favorite moment, humor, moment, parenting, sleep
If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

0

2 months ago

every, fix, forgetfulness, hell, humor, man, months, need, patience, procrastination, promise, reliability, remind, repair, six
We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, age regression, both, childhood, friendship, fun, fun activity, humor, joking, me, playful, push, regression, same, swingset, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

30 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

40 shares on Discord this month:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

74 shares on Messenger this month:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Spotted on Twitch:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Trending via Slack:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Breaking via Twitch:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Going viral on WeChat:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Just shared via Reddit:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Going viral on Facebook:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨