Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Trending via Twitch:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Trending via Discord:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Making waves on WeChat:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Freshly posted on Threads:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Witty quote about patience and independence, humorously highlighting relationship quirks.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like before marriage, my car and I had a staring contest with traffic lights… and the light always won! 🚦😂

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Reddit this month:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

53 shares on Instagram this month:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

82 shares on Discord this month:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.

31 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t, holding a grudge.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Live now on Instagram:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Making waves on Facebook:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Seen just now on Twitch:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Just landed via WeChat:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Seen just now on Threads:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Just landed via X:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴