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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,948

Funny Quotes Topics

14,755

Funny Quotes Images

11,948

36 seconds ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Threads:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Just shared via Reddit:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Trending via Telegram:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

6 months ago

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

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Commentary:
"Chores – the ultimate character-building activity that also doubles as a crash course in the art of procrastination 🧹💼 Who knew doing dishes could prepare you for all-nighters in college and last-minute work deadlines? Parenting, where mundane tasks become valuable life lessons!"

chores, education, give, humor, kids, life, life skills, parenting, procrastination, responsibility, sense, skills, teaching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,948

Funny Quotes Topics

14,755

Funny Quotes Images

11,948

36 seconds ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Trending via Telegram:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Going viral on Facebook:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Trending via YouTube:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Reported on Facebook:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Seen just now on Discord:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Going viral on Discord:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

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