Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Making waves on TikTok:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Breaking via Facebook:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Just landed via Instagram:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Making waves on Reddit:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Breaking via Instagram:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Coffee is better when you have no work.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your coffee tastes like a vacation and your desk is just a decoration 🏖️☕🤣

better, break, coffee, humor, leisure, relaxation, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Never trust a wet fart.

0

2 months ago

advice, caution, fart, humor, trust, wet
Weddings should have a worst man.

0

2 months ago

event, funny opinion, humor, man, marriage, opinion, should, tradition, wedding, worst, worst man
Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

0

2 months ago

activity, alone, alone time, avoidance, concert, DaBaby, event, fun, fun activity, humor, i, introvert, music, music event, need, social, social avoidance, time
I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

0

2 months ago

activity, alcohol, beer, book, drafts, drinking, fun, fun activity, humor, humor about alcohol, lot, through, writing
I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

0

2 months ago

hate, humor, i, irony, me, question, self-reflection, wrong
I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

0

2 months ago

appeal, competition, golf, i, least, leisure, sport, where, winner

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Slack this month:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

89 shares on Discord this month:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Making waves on Reddit:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Just shared via Pinterest:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Making waves on Telegram:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Just landed via WeChat:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Just shared via Messenger:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Spotted on Discord:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Never trust a wet fart.

Weddings should have a worst man.

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨