Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.