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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,557

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Broadcasted on Slack:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Trending via Snapchat:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Going bananas on Threads:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Spotted on Slack:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Just landed via TikTok:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Shared recently on Instagram:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

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Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
👓🔍 When you finally locate those elusive scissors, you'll realize your glasses have been on your head the whole time! 🤓 Who needs a treasure map when you have everyday items playing hide and seek? 🗺️🔍 #WhereAreMyGlasses #ScissorHuntChronicles

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

36 shares on Discord this month:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

22 shares on Threads this month:

About to form my very first opinion.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,364

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Just shared via Threads:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Spotted on Threads:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Live now on Messenger:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Just landed via Threads:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

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