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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Just landed via Slack:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Live now on Instagram:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Just landed via X:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Broadcasted on X:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Trending via Twitch:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Just shared via Threads:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Just landed via Threads:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Funny 31st quotes

Funny 31st quotes are the perfect way to celebrate hitting the big 3-1 with a splash of humor and a wink 😄🎉 Whether you’re embracing the quirks of aging or just want to keep the party vibe light and lively, these witty lines add the perfect punch 🍰🎈 Ready to laugh your way into year 31? Let the good times roll! 😂🥳

New funny 31st quotes 👇

All funny 31st quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

17 shares on X this month:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Just landed via WeChat:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Just landed via Threads:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Going viral on Slack:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Going viral on Reddit:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Spotted on YouTube:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Making waves on YouTube:

I only drink when I people.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

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