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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

31 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Spotted on Twitch:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Going viral on Discord:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Trending via Discord:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Just shared via X:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Shared recently on TikTok:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Live now on WeChat:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Aura is the real business card.

Home » Funny 31st Quotes

Funny 31st quotes

New funny 31st quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Commentary:
“November 31st – the day when procrastination meets wishful thinking and rent remains unpaid! 🤣 Who needs an extra day in November just to avoid those pesky bills? 🗓️💸 #November31stLogic”
6 months ago
Share →: Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Commentary:
Looks like someone is not a fan of the month of love feeling shortchanged! 😆 Who needs a longer February when we can have more opportunities for chocolates and flowers, am I right? 🍫💐 But seriously, poor February getting picked on like this! 🗓️ #JusticeForFebruary

For even more funny 31st quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny 31st quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

31 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Breaking via YouTube:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Spotted on Slack:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Just landed via YouTube:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Making waves on Discord:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Just shared via Reddit:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Just landed via Twitch:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Just landed via YouTube:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

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