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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Making waves on Slack:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Just shared via Twitch:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Just shared via X:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Just landed via Slack:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Funny 31st quotes

Funny 31st quotes are the perfect way to celebrate hitting the big 3-1 with a splash of humor and a wink 😄🎉 Whether you’re embracing the quirks of aging or just want to keep the party vibe light and lively, these witty lines add the perfect punch 🍰🎈 Ready to laugh your way into year 31? Let the good times roll! 😂🥳

New funny 31st quotes 👇

All funny 31st quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

57 shares on Discord this month:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

22 shares on X this month:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is a movie, and it has a 47% on Rotten Tomatoes.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Just landed via Slack:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Trending via X:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Going viral on Discord:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Just landed via Snapchat:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Breaking via Reddit:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Just shared via Slack:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Trending via X:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

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