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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1146 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,308

Funny Quotes Topics

14,222

Funny Quotes Images

11,308

7 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Just landed via Discord:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Going viral on Messenger:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Making waves on Reddit:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Just landed via Threads:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Spotted on X:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Home » Funny Agenda Quotes

Funny agenda quotes

Funny agenda quotes bring a splash of humor to your daily plans 📅😂, turning boring schedules into moments of laughter! Whether you’re battling a never-ending to-do list or just trying to stay on track, these witty lines keep the mood light and motivation high 💡🎉. Perfect for planners, meetings, or just a quick smile, they remind us that even the busiest days deserve a little fun! 😎✨

New funny agenda quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect audio book for "Peace and Quiet". 🎙️😂📚
5 months ago
Share →: It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Commentary:
"Surprising, right? It's like stumbling upon a unicorn in a sea of donkeys. Who knew genuine kindness could exist without a secret plot to take over the world? It's like finding a diamond in the rough, except this diamond doesn't come with any fine print or sneaky terms and conditions. Keep an eye out for these rare specimens – they're the real MVPs in a world full of undercover operators."
5 months ago
Share →: Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Commentary:
🎉🕵️‍♂️ How about we spice up the mistrust with a little pizzazz! Agenda reveal parties for those friends who always seem to have a hidden motive. Who needs surprise birthday parties when you can have surprise agenda reveals, am I right? Just make sure to bring your detective kit and a pinch of skepticism! 🔍😂 #TrustNoOne #AgendaRevealParties
6 months ago
Share →: An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Commentary:
🎉📋 Prepare yourselves for the most thrilling event of the weekend – an agenda reveal party! 🎉 Get ready to be amazed as I unveil my ambitious plans for the next few days – Netflix marathon, laundry mountain expedition, and the legendary battle against the ever-growing pile of dishes! 🍿🧺🍽️ Who needs fireworks when you have this level of excitement on the agenda? 😉 #AgendaRevealParty #WeekendGoals

For even more funny agenda quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny agenda quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1146 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,308

Funny Quotes Topics

14,222

Funny Quotes Images

11,308

7 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Just shared via Threads:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Trending via TikTok:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Just landed via Facebook:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Freshly posted on X:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Breaking via YouTube:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Live now on Snapchat:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

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