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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Seen just now on Messenger:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Making waves on Discord:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Breaking via Snapchat:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Seen just now on X:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Funny agenda quotes

Funny agenda quotes bring a splash of humor to your daily plans 📅😂, turning boring schedules into moments of laughter! Whether you’re battling a never-ending to-do list or just trying to stay on track, these witty lines keep the mood light and motivation high 💡🎉. Perfect for planners, meetings, or just a quick smile, they remind us that even the busiest days deserve a little fun! 😎✨

New funny agenda quotes 👇

All funny agenda quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

35 shares on X this month:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Just shared via Telegram:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Seen just now on TikTok:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Live now on Telegram:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Just shared via Facebook:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Live now on Facebook:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

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