Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

246 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,515

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,515

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Making waves on YouTube:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Just landed via YouTube:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Just shared via TikTok:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Spotted on Twitch:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Funny assurance quotes

Funny assurance quotes are the perfect way to lighten up serious moments with a splash of humor 😂✨. When life gets a little too intense, a witty line can boost your confidence and bring smiles all around 😎💬. Ready to embrace positivity with a side of laughter? These playful quotes will have you feeling unstoppable while cracking up at the same time! 🎉🤣 #GoodVibesOnly

New funny assurance quotes 👇

All funny assurance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

59 shares on Slack this month:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

You will give your period 50 acres of prime pad, and it will still choose to encroach on your underwear.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

246 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,515

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,515

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,542

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Going viral on Telegram:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Trending via TikTok:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Seen just now on Slack:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Making waves on YouTube:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Spotted on Twitch:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Just landed via WeChat:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Freshly posted on X:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Shared recently on Threads:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

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