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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Spotted on Threads:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Reported on Snapchat:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Live now on Slack:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Breaking via Discord:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Making waves on TikTok:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Spotted on Messenger:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Spotted on TikTok:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Making waves on Instagram:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

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