Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Going bananas on Reddit:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Making waves on X:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Seen just now on Threads:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Trending via Snapchat:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Trending via Messenger:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Funny bears quotes

Funny bears quotes 🐻 bring a roaring good time filled with giggles and grins! Whether you’re a fan of cuddly cubs or mighty grizzlies, these witty words will have you bear-y entertained 😂. Perfect for brightening your day or adding a pawsitive vibe to your feed, get ready to hibernate in humor and unleash your wild side! 🌲✨

New funny bears quotes 👇

All funny bears quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Facebook this month:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

83 shares on Reddit this month:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

24 shares on Threads this month:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Shared recently on Discord:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Live now on Telegram:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Trending via Pinterest:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Spotted on Messenger:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Breaking via Instagram:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

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