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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Live now on Messenger:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Making waves on Discord:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Trending via YouTube:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Making waves on Slack:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Shared recently on TikTok:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Making waves on Messenger:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Funny beauty routine quotes

Funny beauty routine quotes bring a splash of laughter to your daily glam game 💄✨ Whether you’re battling mascara mishaps or skincare slip-ups, these witty lines turn self-care into a comedy show 😂💅 Get ready to smile through your serums and giggle with your glow-up routine—because beauty should always come with a side of humor! 🌟💕

New funny beauty routine quotes 👇

All funny beauty routine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

96 shares on Slack this month:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

63 shares on Reddit this month:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

72 shares on X this month:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Spotted on Slack:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Just landed via Slack:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Spotted on Slack:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Making waves on Discord:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Breaking via TikTok:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Making waves on Reddit:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

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