Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Going viral on Threads:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Just shared via Messenger:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Making waves on Messenger:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Just shared via WeChat:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Spotted on Facebook:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Seen just now on Messenger:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Trending via Messenger:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Funny cord quotes

Funny cord quotes bring a spark of humor ⚡️ to the everyday tangle of chargers, headphones, and cables 🎧🔌. Whether you’re battling knots or just can’t find the right plug, these witty lines will have you laughing out loud 😂 and saying goodbye to boring cords forever. Get ready to charge up your day with some electrifying fun! ⚡️🔋

New funny cord quotes 👇

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

2 months ago

cable, cord, dominance, electronics, ever, HDMI, HDMI cord, humor, most, run, technology
What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

2 months ago

absurdity, baby, cord, cords, cut, exploded, explosion, funny scenario, humor, imagination, scenario, umbilical, umbilical cord, wrong
When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

2 months ago

childhood, cord, cords, humor, i, kid, nostalgia, phone, phones, reach, restriction, school, technology
Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

2 months ago

charger, cleaning, cord, gadget, home, humor, hunger, irony, nothing, Roomba, technology
Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

3 months ago

cord, humor, joke, just, night, snore, sound, vocal, vocal cord, women

All funny cord quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I suffer from awesomnia.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

52 shares on Threads this month:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,265

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Spotted on Slack:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Just landed via WeChat:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Making waves on Slack:

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Live now on Instagram:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Trending via Snapchat:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Spreading quickly via X:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

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