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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,876

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Just landed via Messenger:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Going bananas on TikTok:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Broadcasted on Discord:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Shared recently on Discord:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Funny dealer quotes

Funny dealer quotes bring a sprinkle of humor to the world of buying and selling 🎲💼 Whether you’re negotiating a deal or just love a good laugh, these witty lines lighten the mood and make business feel less serious 😄✨ Perfect for sharing with friends or sparking a smile during a tough negotiation, get ready to enjoy the lighter side of deal-making! 🚀🤝

New funny dealer quotes 👇

All funny dealer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

78 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

53 shares on X this month:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Never trust a wet fart.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,062

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Going viral on Instagram:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Making waves on Twitch:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Shared recently on Discord:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Just landed via WeChat:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Trending via Messenger:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

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