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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Spotted on Messenger:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Making waves on Telegram:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Just landed via X:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Trending via X:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

12 Funny digital age quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

We decided to have money instead of children.

97 shares on Discord this month:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank account is also in retrograde.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Breaking via Messenger:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Just landed via Discord:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Going viral on Messenger:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Seen just now on X:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Going viral on Instagram:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

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