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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Apple’s secret growth engine: vibe coders paying the $99 Apple Developer Program fee.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Trending via TikTok:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Just shared via Slack:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Just landed via Slack:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

They’re uploading my consciousness into a disposable vape.

Trending via Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Going viral on WeChat:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

23 Funny digital life quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Telegram this month:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

22 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

60 shares on Slack this month:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

43 shares on Reddit this month:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is optimism.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Going viral on Instagram:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Spotted on Telegram:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Just shared via X:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Going viral on WeChat:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Going viral on Facebook:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Just landed via Threads:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Spotted on Facebook:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

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