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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has shared:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has shared:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has copied:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to β€˜like’ them.

Going viral on Reddit:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Making waves on Discord:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Going viral on Reddit:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Just landed via Telegram:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Funny end of world quotes

Funny end of world quotes bring a hilarious twist to doomsday scenarios 🌍πŸ’₯ Ready to laugh in the face of chaos? πŸ˜‚ From witty one-liners to clever puns, these jokes lighten up the apocalypse vibe and remind us to find humor even when everything feels like it’s falling apart πŸ€ͺπŸ”₯ Perfect for sharing with friends or just brightening your day before the world ends!

New funny end of world quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny end of world quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

61 shares on X this month:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Commenting β€œhumiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has shared:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has downloaded:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has viewed:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has viewed:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has downloaded:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has copied:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has shared:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Making waves on Messenger:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Just shared via YouTube:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Just shared via Telegram:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Shared recently on Discord:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

Just landed via Threads:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Just shared via Facebook:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Spotted on X:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Spotted on Instagram:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

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