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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Trending via TikTok:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Just landed via YouTube:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Just landed via Discord:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Trending via LinkedIn:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Funny failures quotes

Funny failures quotes bring a lighthearted twist to those moments when things don’t go as planned 😂✨ Embracing mistakes with humor turns setbacks into smiles 😅💡 Ready to laugh at life’s little oops and find inspiration in every blunder? Let’s celebrate the art of failing fabulously and keep the good vibes rolling! 🎉🙌

New funny failures quotes 👇

All funny failures quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on X this month:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,237

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Breaking via Threads:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Just landed via X:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Broadcasted on X:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Trending via Messenger:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Making waves on TikTok:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

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