Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Live now on WeChat:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Spotted on Slack:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Breaking via WeChat:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Trending via Facebook:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Spotted on Telegram:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Funny file quotes

New funny file quotes 👇

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

3 weeks ago

1, accidental, accidental save, accidentally, computer, computer frustration, digital, digital life, dramatic, duplication, end, file, file duplication, file management, file saving, frustration, funny moment, humor, i, life, management, moment, save, saving, technology, technology humor, twice, worst
The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

3 weeks ago

conspiracy, Epstein, Epstein file, figure, file, humor, joke, PDF, real, technology
So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

3 weeks ago

biblical, cloud, download, file, humor, man, Moses, pun, tablet, technology, using
Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

1 month ago

Amazon, camera, camera tape, collection, data, data collection, Facebook, file, Google, information, life, over, personal, personal information, privacy, surveillance, tape, technology, while, whole
It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

1 month ago

communication, Epstein, exaggeration, file, frustration, humor, lie, need
And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

1 month ago

digital, digital file, file, grandchild, grandchildren, humor, i, inheritance, leave, PDF, procrastination, unread

All funny file quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

57 shares on Slack this month:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Ugh, but profoundly.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Seen just now on Discord:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Shared recently on Twitch:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Just shared via Twitch:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Shared recently on Discord:

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Making waves on Messenger:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny file quotes

New funny file quotes 👇

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

All funny file quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨