Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Seen just now on WeChat:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Trending via YouTube:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Going bananas on Twitch:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Breaking via Slack:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Making waves on Twitch:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Funny five-year quotes

Funny five-year quotes are the perfect way to celebrate those hilarious milestones 🎉😂 Whether it’s a birthday, anniversary, or just a quirky life moment, these witty gems bring smiles and giggles all around 😄🎈 Get ready to laugh out loud and share the joy with friends and family as you mark five fabulous years of memories and fun! 🎂🎊

New funny five-year quotes 👇

All funny five-year quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

68 shares on TikTok this month:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

64 shares on X this month:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Just landed via WeChat:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Spotted on Telegram:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Shared recently on Threads:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

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