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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,540

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,540

Updated

Nov 26, 2025

Users Online

3,930

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Going bananas on Threads:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Just shared via Discord:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Just landed via X:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Breaking via Pinterest:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

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475 Funny frustration quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,540

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,540

Updated

Nov 26, 2025

Users Online

4,032

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Just shared via Messenger:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Spotted on Threads:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Trending via LinkedIn:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Seen just now on Facebook:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Live now on Discord:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Going viral on TikTok:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Shared recently on WeChat:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Breaking via Threads:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

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