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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Trending via Discord:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Going bananas on Slack:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Making waves on WeChat:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Going viral on Instagram:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Just landed via X:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Going bananas on Telegram:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Going bananas on X:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Funny funny gift quotes

Funny funny gift quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor 🎉 and charm 🎁 to any present! Whether you’re wrapping up a birthday surprise 🎂 or just because, these witty lines bring laughter 😂 and good vibes ✨ that make gifts unforgettable. Ready to turn smiles into full-on giggles? Let’s dive into the world of humor and heartfelt fun! 😄🎈

New funny funny gift quotes 👇

All funny funny gift quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Telegram this month:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

52 shares on Threads this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,483

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Live now on YouTube:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Making waves on Telegram:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Just shared via Facebook:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Spotted on Twitch:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Going viral on Threads:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

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