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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has viewed:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has copied:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on YouTube:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said β€˜compliments to the chef’.

Making waves on TikTok:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Happy new fear!

Spreading quickly via Slack:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Just landed via YouTube:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Freshly posted on X:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, β€œOh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Funny galaxy quotes

Funny galaxy quotes 🌌✨ are the perfect way to add some cosmic humor to your day! Whether you’re a space nerd πŸš€ or just love a good laugh 🌟, these witty lines will have you starry-eyed and giggling. Get ready to explore the universe with a smile πŸ˜„ and share some out-of-this-world jokes that are truly light-years ahead! πŸŒ πŸŒ™

New funny galaxy quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny galaxy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on X this month:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

12 shares on Discord this month:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, β€œBefore you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

My hobbies include saying, β€œI’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has copied:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has copied:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has copied:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has copied:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has copied:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has copied:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via WeChat:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the β€œat your age…”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Just shared via TikTok:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Spotted on Twitch:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piΓ±ata.

Making waves on Slack:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Live now on Facebook:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

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