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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Going bananas on Telegram:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Breaking via Snapchat:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Shared recently on Telegram:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Funny genuine quotes

Funny genuine quotes are the perfect blend of laughter and truth 😄✨ They brighten your day with a splash of humor while keeping it real 💬🔥 Whether you’re looking to boost your mood or share a smile with friends, these gems hit just the right spot 🎯😂 Get ready to laugh out loud and nod in agreement—because sometimes, honesty is the funniest punchline! 🎉🙌

New funny genuine quotes 👇

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

0

1 month ago

able, distraction, ever, genuine, humor, love, loved, media, pause, reel, scroll, self-awareness, social, social media, sometimes, sure, video, YouTube
I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

0

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, comedy, folly, genuine, human, human folly, humor, i, intelligence, next, prediction, satire, stupidity, technology, war, world
Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

0

2 months ago

authenticity, comedy, genuine, genuineness, honesty, humor, i, irony, just, need, people, pretending, problem, sarcasm, sometimes
They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, genuine, honesty, humor, invent, man, me, relationships, sarcasm, should, things, trust

All funny genuine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

58 shares on Threads this month:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

36 shares on Slack this month:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

30 shares on X this month:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were you, I would rather be me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,612

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Just landed via X:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Going bananas on WeChat:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Breaking via Reddit:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Going viral on Threads:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

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