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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,250

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Going viral on Telegram:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Live now on YouTube:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Breaking via Discord:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

30 Funny grammar quotes

More funny grammar quotes 👇

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

2 months ago

correcting, everything, expensive, free, grammar, humor, i, just, know, online, remember, right, still
Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

2 months ago

before, communication, education, grammar, humor, internet, nostalgia, only, people, punctuation, remember, spelling
Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

2 months ago

difference, feeling, grammar, humor, important, language, nuts, punctuation, wordplay
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

2 months ago

comma, commas, eating, family, favorite, food, grammar, humor, joke, miscommunication, things
You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

2 months ago

confidence, grammar, humor, language, punctuation, semicolons, writing
Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

3 months ago

couple, crime, grammar, humor, i, just, liquor, liquor store, me, robbery, store, wife
Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

3 months ago

communication, grammar, humor, irony, lessons, media, social, social media, teach, Twitter
To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

3 months ago

grammar, humor, i, issue, issues, people, period, problem, problems, timing, worry
I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

3 months ago

adult, breathe, breathing, commas, frustration, grammar, hate, humor, i, job, punctuation, tell, work
If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

3 months ago

bee, education, Facebook, grammar, humor, lesson, media, people, ready, social, social media, spelling

For even more funny grammar quotes, hit next 👇

All funny grammar quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

For the record, I use a turntable.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

17 shares on X this month:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

99 shares on Discord this month:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Breaking via Telegram:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Spotted on Threads:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Making waves on Messenger:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Making waves on Threads:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Spotted on TikTok:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Activity Log ✨

30 Funny grammar quotes

More funny grammar quotes 👇

All funny grammar quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨