Commentary:
When your charm is "clinically" approved 😂🩺
14856 Funny humor quotes
I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.
Commentary:
When I put on my Adam Sandler clothes, my couch automatically turns into the VIP section 🍿🛋️😂
Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.
Commentary:
Seems like you've got a deficiency! Don't worry, I'm available by prescription only 😂✨💊
The sexual tension between me and buying more books.
Commentary:
When you try to walk past a bookstore without going in but the books start whispering sweet nothings to your wallet 📚❤️🛍️
I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”
Commentary:
Trying to convince kids that crypto isn't just grown-up Monopoly money: mission impossible 🎩🪙🤹♂️
That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.
Commentary:
Coldplay playing the accountability game like it's Viva La Vida 😂🎶 #PresidentialComparisons
Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?
Commentary:
When you visit other families and discover they're just like sitcoms—with less laugh track and more snacks 😄🍿👨👩👧👦
What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.
Commentary:
Looks like someone needs a taste test before serving up that advice buffet! 🍴🙃
True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.
Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate plot twist — a romantic comedy where the main character ditches everyone for their cat and a lifetime supply of chocolate 😂🍫🐱
Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.
Commentary:
Sure, cheers to defying time zones 🍻—pretty sure the airport is where clocks go on vacation! ✈️⏰