Commentary:
Trying to postpone tomorrow like it's a dentist appointment 😅🕒🌙
14856 Funny humor quotes
Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.
Commentary:
When you're trying to relax to rain sounds, but instead end up craving fried chicken 🤔🍗☔😂
Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.
Commentary:
Looks like it's time to trade left swipes for hot dogs and baseball strikes! 🍺🌭⚾️
Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.
Commentary:
Morning innovation: microwaving’s overrated when you’re dressed for a second day adventure! 🍝🤣👕
I need a day off from myself.
Commentary:
When I figure out how to call in sick to being me, I'll let you know! 🙃🤔😴
I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.
Commentary:
Sounds like a sizzlin' romance: crispy, tasty, and just a little dangerous! 🥓🔥❤️
As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.
Commentary:
Guess the programmers forgot to patch the bugs in this version! 🤖🕹️🙃
People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?
Commentary:
Are you part vampire, conserving your strength for when in-flight drinks served? 🧛♂️✈️🔋
A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.
Commentary:
When she says her favorite hobby is collecting red flags 🚩🚩, you know it’s time to make a U-turn 😂💨
What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?
Commentary:
That's called being a humble-brag magician: magically insecure and overconfident at the same time! 🎩✨😎😅