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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has copied:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has shared:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has copied:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has viewed:

The adult version of β€œhead, shoulders, knees and toes” is β€œwallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has shared:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,793

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on Snapchat:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Seen just now on Discord:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Going bananas on Slack:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Going viral on Telegram:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Going viral on Messenger:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Trending via Facebook:

And is this β€œyear-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Making waves on Slack:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Home Β» Funny Humorous Comparison Quotes

Funny humorous comparison quotes

Funny humorous comparison quotes bring a smile 😊 and a clever twist to everyday situations! They turn simple observations into hilarious insights, making us laugh out loud πŸ˜‚ while nodding in agreement. Whether you need a quick pick-me-up or a witty icebreaker, these playful sayings are sure to brighten your day 🌟 and spark some fun conversations. Ready to see the world through a funnier lens? Let’s dive into the joy of quirky comparisons! πŸŽ‰

New funny humorous comparison quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny humorous comparison quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽπŸŽ…πŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Telegram this month:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

29 shares on Discord this month:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

96 shares on Slack this month:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Is it still murder if they said, β€œSome other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Being a consultant would be fun. Like β€œhmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,884

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has copied:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has shared:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has viewed:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has shared:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has viewed:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has shared:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has copied:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Telegram:

β€œOh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Spotted on Slack:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Just landed via TikTok:

Not sure if β€œlife hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Just landed via TikTok:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Going bananas on Facebook:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

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