Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Trending via Discord:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Going viral on X:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Going bananas on YouTube:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Trending via Slack:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Broadcasted on X:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Going viral on Messenger:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Breaking via Telegram:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Funny humorous comparison quotes

Funny humorous comparison quotes bring a smile 😊 and a clever twist to everyday situations! They turn simple observations into hilarious insights, making us laugh out loud 😂 while nodding in agreement. Whether you need a quick pick-me-up or a witty icebreaker, these playful sayings are sure to brighten your day 🌟 and spark some fun conversations. Ready to see the world through a funnier lens? Let’s dive into the joy of quirky comparisons! 🎉

New funny humorous comparison quotes 👇

All funny humorous comparison quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Messenger this month:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

14 shares on X this month:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

74 shares on Threads this month:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

25 shares on Slack this month:

My life is a movie, and it has a 47% on Rotten Tomatoes.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I run a parody bank account.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Just landed via Discord:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Freshly posted on Discord:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Live now on Discord:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Just landed via X:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Making waves on Threads:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Just landed via X:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Freshly posted on X:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴