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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Making waves on Twitch:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Spotted on YouTube:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Spreading quickly via X:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Trending via Instagram:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Reported on Snapchat:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Going viral on Telegram:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Seen just now on X:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Seen just now on Slack:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Just shared via TikTok:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

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