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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,371

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Freshly posted on X:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Making waves on Slack:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Making waves on YouTube:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Spotted on Twitch:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Seen just now on Slack:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Shared recently on Discord:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Funny invoice quotes

Funny invoice quotes bring a splash of humor 😂 to the usually dull world of billing 💸. They turn those routine payment reminders into smile-worthy moments 😄, making clients chuckle while keeping things professional 🧾. Whether you’re a freelancer or a business owner, adding a witty touch can lighten the mood and keep the cash flowing 💰. Ready to invoice with a grin? Let’s dive into some laugh-out-loud inspiration! 🎉

New funny invoice quotes 👇

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

2 months ago

boss, dream, extra, hour, hours, humor, i, invoice, joke, last, management, night, overtime, sleep, time, time management, work
I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

2 months ago

frustration, humor, i, invoice, management, people, sarcasm, time, time management, wasting, wasting time, wish, work
Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

2 months ago

being, business, consultant, fun, humor, invoice, maybe, sarcasm, work
At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

2 months ago

always, Christmas, finance, holiday, humor, invoice, joke, outstanding, payment, reference, seasonal, time

All funny invoice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

16 shares on Threads this month:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

98 shares on X this month:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

81 shares on X this month:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a break from me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,647

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Shared recently on Discord:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Just shared via Discord:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Spotted on TikTok:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Spotted on Instagram:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Spotted on Instagram:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Making waves on Instagram:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

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