Commentary:
Sending a little rain to water those seeds of discontent 🌧️🌱😂
49 Funny jealousy quotes
Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.
Commentary:
Who knew witches could multitask like this? Guess I'll stick to spells and leave the drama to the pros! 🧙♀️💔😅
I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.
Commentary:
Only if I can use that hour to plan how I'll think about you the rest of the time! 🕒🤔🧠
I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.
Commentary:
Sounds like you’ve got a built-in commentary feature! 😂🤐🎬
Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.
Commentary:
Well, it looks like you’re getting free headspace while they're paying rent! 😆🧠💭
Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.
Commentary:
Sleep tight, gentlemen! For the rest, may your sleep be as complicated as your love life! 😴🤦♂️💤
I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.
Commentary:
Searching for the elusive Jolene like she’s a mythical creature. 🕵️♀️✨ Anyone seen her? She’s welcome to my non-existent man too! 🤷♀️👀
Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.
Commentary:
Wow, someone's clearly the ninja master of creaky joints! 🤫🦸♂️
I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.
Commentary:
Can't decide if I'm more jealous of their shoes or their bank accounts! 💸👠😂
Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.
Commentary:
"Who knew the secret to green fashion was just Mother Nature's clearance sale? 🍵🍫😜 #Trendsetter"