Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Just shared via Instagram:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Just landed via Discord:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Just shared via Twitch:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Just shared via YouTube:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Funny lettuce quotes

Funny lettuce quotes 🥬 are the perfect way to add a crisp crunch of humor to your day! Whether you’re a salad lover 🥗 or just here for the laughs, these witty bites of wisdom will leaf you smiling 😄. Get ready to toss around some pun-tastic moments and enjoy a fresh dose of leafy laughs! 🍃😂

New funny lettuce quotes 👇

All funny lettuce quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

15 shares on Threads this month:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Just shared via Discord:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Trending via TikTok:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Spotted on Messenger:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Just shared via X:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

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