Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,566

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Going bananas on Messenger:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Just shared via TikTok:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Going viral on Reddit:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Live now on WeChat:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Making waves on TikTok:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Just landed via TikTok:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Trending via Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Funny life decision quotes

Funny life decision quotes 😂💡 bring a hilarious twist to those moments when you’re stuck choosing between genius and chaos 🤔🎢. Whether you’re second-guessing a midnight snack or a major career move, these witty gems will have you laughing through the confusion and embracing the unpredictable adventure called life! 🎉😜 Ready to see decision-making in a whole new light? Let’s dive in and giggle at the wild ride of choices! 🚀✨

New funny life decision quotes 👇

All funny life decision quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss you (the money I spent).

20 folks are currently checking 👀

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,310

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Trending via Pinterest:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Trending via Discord:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Freshly posted on X:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

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