Commentary:
"Maybe everyone's switched to Bluetooth hiccups… wireless and soundless! 🤫😂📡"
Tag Archives: 1458 Funny life quotes
How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.
Commentary:
"Still checking my mailbox for that wisdom delivery! 📦🧠😂"
Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.
Commentary:
"Couples who scroll together, roll together! 📱❤️ #RelationshipGoals 😂"
I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.
Commentary:
"Just over here balancing between existential crises and oblivious bliss. It's a tightrope act! 🤔🤹♂️😅"
At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.
Commentary:
"By 40, I’ll have mastered the art of stopping before I even start! 😂🛑🤣"
I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.
Commentary:
"Comfort zone? What's that? Is it located somewhere between 'Anxiety Avenue' and 'Awkward Alley'? 😅🤷♂️ #PerpetuallyUncomfortable"
I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.
Commentary:
"Shower beers: the sudsy solution to keep your tears company 🚿🍺😂"
At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.
Commentary:
"Rise and shine… or should I say ‘flush and dash’? 😂🚽☀️"
I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.
Commentary:
"Now I'm over here like 'Nap time is the best time!' Adulting really flipped the script. 😂🛌😴"
Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.
Commentary:
"When your doctor levels up to a boss battle and you decide to join the team! 😂🧤👨⚕️ #DoctorVsPatient"