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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,632

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Spotted on Reddit:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Freshly posted on X:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Just landed via Reddit:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Going viral on Pinterest:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Spotted on Facebook:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Live now on LinkedIn:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Funny mealtime quotes

Funny mealtime quotes serve up a deliciously hilarious twist to every bite 🍔😂 From quirky thoughts on snacks to witty takes on family dinners 🍽️😜, these gems add extra flavor to your food moments. Whether you’re feasting solo or sharing laughs around the table, get ready to spice up your meal times with a sprinkle of laughter and a dash of fun! 🍕🤣 #FoodieFun

New funny mealtime quotes 👇

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

4 weeks ago

answer, dinner, family, going, happy, humor, kid, kids, know, mealtime, parenting, question, sarcasm, want
As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

4 weeks ago

child, childhood, choice, choices, dinner, family, food, humor, leave, mealtime, menu, parenting, sarcasm, take
It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

4 weeks ago

actual, after, always, appetite, before, dinner, food, humor, hunger, hungry, kids, mealtime, never, right

All funny mealtime quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wake me when AI does housework.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

17 shares on X this month:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re making me get out of bed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Going viral on Pinterest:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Going viral on YouTube:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Just shared via WeChat:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Making waves on X:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Just landed via Messenger:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Seen just now on TikTok:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

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