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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Spotted on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Going viral on TikTok:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Just landed via X:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Going viral on Twitch:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Just shared via Threads:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Funny mealtime quotes

Funny mealtime quotes serve up a deliciously hilarious twist to every bite 🍔😂 From quirky thoughts on snacks to witty takes on family dinners 🍽️😜, these gems add extra flavor to your food moments. Whether you’re feasting solo or sharing laughs around the table, get ready to spice up your meal times with a sprinkle of laughter and a dash of fun! 🍕🤣 #FoodieFun

New funny mealtime quotes 👇

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

3 days ago

answer, dinner, family, going, happy, humor, kid, kids, know, mealtime, parenting, question, sarcasm, want
As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

5 days ago

child, childhood, choice, choices, dinner, family, food, humor, leave, mealtime, menu, parenting, sarcasm, take
It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

6 days ago

actual, after, always, appetite, before, dinner, food, humor, hunger, hungry, kids, mealtime, never, right

All funny mealtime quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

39 shares on X this month:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Seen just now on Reddit:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Trending via Snapchat:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Breaking via Reddit:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Making waves on Threads:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Making waves on Facebook:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

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