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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

48 seconds ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Reported on TikTok:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Trending via TikTok:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Going viral on Instagram:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Spotted on Reddit:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

48 seconds ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Just landed via WeChat:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Trending via Facebook:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Trending via Snapchat:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Making waves on Discord:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Trending via Pinterest:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

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